the Power of the Popular (or Post-Modern) Poz Paradigm


You must believe me despite what you think: i am not judging, but am not going to infect you, either. HIV meds aren't cheap, even with health coverage. Not to mention how often they don't work or stop working.

OK, wait. Actually, I lied. I judge. Everyone does. Constantly. It is what separates humans from all other creatures. Judgment. Free will. It's good stuff, not bad, not negative. Judgment isn't the same as feeling guilt or shame.

Read on. Mind, open, just for a bit, OK?

Wasted viagra? What is this blog all about anyway?

This is my blog which is a record of some of the more outrageous postings I have seen on the Craigslist Personals\M4M section, where guys who are supposedly HIV-negative are looking for bareback tops who are also supposedly HIV-negative.

When I read one of these ads (and there are many, every day, in every small and large city in the country), and feel particularly incensed, and think that I might be able to reach that person in some small way by telling them my experiences with how that has worked out for so many people doing what they are doing, then I go ahead and write them, and post their original ad, as well as my email to them, to my blog. It makes me feel better about seeing all those ads, at least trying to get them to stop the insanity, or, at least, admit to them that I don't know their situation, that maybe their ability to at least specify that they want an HIV-negative partner is already a big step for them, that for some people they actually have taken much time and thought a lot about how they are going to approach sex and dating and for some of them, it is an acceptable risk to play, even bareback, with people who at least are declaring themselves HIV-negative.

Some of these people do realize that it is akin Russian Roulette with varying odds. Some of them think that at least they are upping their odds by "only barebacking" with guys who at least identify as HIV-negative. I don't know if the statistic is still correct of 50% of the HIV-infected population in the US being unaware, but if that is the case, the odds still aren't great for these guys. It is very very risky and a very effective way to become infected with HIV, this whole "UB2" world.

I can't say that I know anything about it, either, and I admit that to them, because I have been HIV+ for longer than I was HIV-. Born 1964, infected 1983, you do the math. :-)

L'auteur, c'est moi

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Palm Springs, CA, United States
You must believe me despite what you think: i am not judging, but am not going to infect you, either. HIV meds aren't cheap, even with health coverage. Not to mention how often they don't work or stop working. OK, wait. Actually, I lied. I judge. Everyone does. Constantly. It is what separates humans from all other creatures. Judgment. Free will. It's good stuff, not bad, not negative. Judgment isn't the same as feeling guilt or shame. Read on. Mind, open, just for a bit, OK?

Sunday, August 26, 2007

When poz & neg stroke together, is infection a risk?

Here's the posting, and my response (unsolicited as always) follows:

Bi jock on DL - looking to JO tonite.
Be smooth, ddf/neg, athletic, <35 with a good pic.

Hey dude,

Just so you know...

I must be bored out of my mind to write you this, but I thought I'd let you know.... um, last I checked, JO was completely safe, about as safe as you can get. so not sure why the ddf is part of your posting, unless you are looking for more, or don't realize that jacking off with someone else is totally without risk.

besides, it's sort of pointless to expect a complete stranger to be truthful about being "ddf/neg" -- I know for a fact that many guys lie about their "poz" status, and there are another good percentage of guys who actually believe they *are* still "neg" but have been having unprotected sex, have seroconverted, and haven't been tested, so they just don't know it yet, probably are afraid (or too stupid) to go find out & get treatment -- so instead, they continue saying they're neg, when that's not true.

But unless you've had your head in the sand for the past few years, you probably already knew all of these things. I'm just writing cuz i've had hiv for 25 years, and think that it must be challenging to be hiv-neg, and *stay* that way, so there ya go.

(yeah i was practically a baby when i got it, i was 17... 42 now)

anyway, take care, have fun,

-W
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