the Power of the Popular (or Post-Modern) Poz Paradigm


You must believe me despite what you think: i am not judging, but am not going to infect you, either. HIV meds aren't cheap, even with health coverage. Not to mention how often they don't work or stop working.

OK, wait. Actually, I lied. I judge. Everyone does. Constantly. It is what separates humans from all other creatures. Judgment. Free will. It's good stuff, not bad, not negative. Judgment isn't the same as feeling guilt or shame.

Read on. Mind, open, just for a bit, OK?

Wasted viagra? What is this blog all about anyway?

This is my blog which is a record of some of the more outrageous postings I have seen on the Craigslist Personals\M4M section, where guys who are supposedly HIV-negative are looking for bareback tops who are also supposedly HIV-negative.

When I read one of these ads (and there are many, every day, in every small and large city in the country), and feel particularly incensed, and think that I might be able to reach that person in some small way by telling them my experiences with how that has worked out for so many people doing what they are doing, then I go ahead and write them, and post their original ad, as well as my email to them, to my blog. It makes me feel better about seeing all those ads, at least trying to get them to stop the insanity, or, at least, admit to them that I don't know their situation, that maybe their ability to at least specify that they want an HIV-negative partner is already a big step for them, that for some people they actually have taken much time and thought a lot about how they are going to approach sex and dating and for some of them, it is an acceptable risk to play, even bareback, with people who at least are declaring themselves HIV-negative.

Some of these people do realize that it is akin Russian Roulette with varying odds. Some of them think that at least they are upping their odds by "only barebacking" with guys who at least identify as HIV-negative. I don't know if the statistic is still correct of 50% of the HIV-infected population in the US being unaware, but if that is the case, the odds still aren't great for these guys. It is very very risky and a very effective way to become infected with HIV, this whole "UB2" world.

I can't say that I know anything about it, either, and I admit that to them, because I have been HIV+ for longer than I was HIV-. Born 1964, infected 1983, you do the math. :-)

L'auteur, c'est moi

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Palm Springs, CA, United States
You must believe me despite what you think: i am not judging, but am not going to infect you, either. HIV meds aren't cheap, even with health coverage. Not to mention how often they don't work or stop working. OK, wait. Actually, I lied. I judge. Everyone does. Constantly. It is what separates humans from all other creatures. Judgment. Free will. It's good stuff, not bad, not negative. Judgment isn't the same as feeling guilt or shame. Read on. Mind, open, just for a bit, OK?

Saturday, June 2, 2007

another round of neg 4 neg parties


The party was listed on Adam4Adam.

Looking to get a group of hot neg studs together for a bb gang bang. Need a hot bb btm or 2 and plenty of tops. If someone can host that'd be great too! Must be tone and hot and have pics.
How could I not respond to this moronic party planner?
Yeah, that one there on the right. ----->

I couldn't resist. In hopes of inserting some tiny light of thought or reflection into this cro-magnon's dense skull. I wrote to him,

Neg studs, hope you're pretty damn sure about that, dude. i'm sure you don't want to hear this, but i'm obligated to tell you anyway: in the last 12 months, 14 friends of mine got HIV by using the same method of protecting themselves (barebacking ONLY with other 'neg' guys).

It's a very effective way to get the virus. So like I said, I hope you're pretty damn sure about the serostatus of those 'neg' bb tops and bottoms. That could really fuck up a party, turning someone from neg to poz.

But, what-EV. Just do me a favor and don't be angry with me for writing this. It's not like I'm getting anything out of this, other than taking a bit of time to maybe spare someone the infection. There's only good in my intent.

take care,

I don't expect a reply. Do I ever? Only twice have I heard back from the neg 4 neg recipients of my well wishes and insightful uninvited, and probably unwelcome, perhaps unopened, messages. One was very thankful & positive & said my words had really shook him up, in a good way, and he was going to try to stop fantasizing about that "raw load of charged seed", and a million other poetic ways of describing the entry of the human immunodeficiency virus into the bloodstream, much more erotic somehow and apparently less realistic than the version of truth found earlier on in this very sentence.

The other responder expressed great rage, resentment and shock at my audacity and nosiness. It was none of my business, he really wanted me to understand, what he did, and how he did it, and if he got or wanted to get or pass HIV to anyone else. He didn't get his point across to me at all. I still don't get it.
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