the Power of the Popular (or Post-Modern) Poz Paradigm


You must believe me despite what you think: i am not judging, but am not going to infect you, either. HIV meds aren't cheap, even with health coverage. Not to mention how often they don't work or stop working.


OK, wait. Actually, I lied. I judge. Everyone does. Constantly. It is what separates humans from all other creatures. Judgment. Free will. It's good stuff, not bad, not negative. Judgment isn't the same as feeling guilt or shame.

Read on. Mind, open, just for a bit, OK?

Wasted viagra? What is this blog all about anyway?

This is my blog which is a record of some of the more outrageous postings I have seen on the Craigslist Personals\M4M section, where guys who are supposedly HIV-negative are looking for bareback tops who are also supposedly HIV-negative.

When I read one of these ads (and there are many, every day, in every small and large city in the country), and feel particularly incensed, and think that I might be able to reach that person in some small way by telling them my experiences with how that has worked out for so many people doing what they are doing, then I go ahead and write them, and post their original ad, as well as my email to them, to my blog. It makes me feel better about seeing all those ads, at least trying to get them to stop the insanity, or, at least, admit to them that I don't know their situation, that maybe their ability to at least specify that they want an HIV-negative partner is already a big step for them, that for some people they actually have taken much time and thought a lot about how they are going to approach sex and dating and for some of them, it is an acceptable risk to play, even bareback, with people who at least are declaring themselves HIV-negative.

Some of these people do realize that it is akin Russian Roulette with varying odds. Some of them think that at least they are upping their odds by "only barebacking" with guys who at least identify as HIV-negative. I don't know if the statistic is still correct of 50% of the HIV-infected population in the US being unaware, but if that is the case, the odds still aren't great for these guys. It is very very risky and a very effective way to become infected with HIV, this whole "UB2" world.

I can't say that I know anything about it, either, and I admit that to them, because I have been HIV+ for longer than I was HIV-. Born 1964, infected 1983, you do the math. :-)

L'auteur, c'est moi

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Palm Springs, CA, United States
You must believe me despite what you think: i am not judging, but am not going to infect you, either. HIV meds aren't cheap, even with health coverage. Not to mention how often they don't work or stop working. OK, wait. Actually, I lied. I judge. Everyone does. Constantly. It is what separates humans from all other creatures. Judgment. Free will. It's good stuff, not bad, not negative. Judgment isn't the same as feeling guilt or shame. Read on. Mind, open, just for a bit, OK?

Sunday, February 4, 2007

Bitch, You Cast Your Net Too Damn Wide (The Point of San Diego)

So there's this Muscle Pig "bottom" who Point-edly insists on describing himself as super hot, hot ass, muscled, blah blah blah, and says what a great time he and I will have, when we fuck and party. So far, though, every time we are going to get together, it turns out that at the last minute, he is either already busy with someone else, or just decides to hook up with someone else -- so I've deduced that he is either casting a wide net, and whoever is first to respond and is available as soon as HE is available, gets him. OR, he's completely fucking with me, but I don't think he's got anything in for me in particular, he's just selfish and takes what he wants and doesn't think for a moment about how anyone he comes into contact feels about anything -- it's all ME ME ME, MY LUSTS, MY HOLE.

It strikes me as a pretty fucked up way to go through life. And so, if you're reading this, mister "only party once in a while and so pardon me but I do as I please -- yes we had plans but like I said I only do this once in a while and I have to get what I can get when I can get it, not wait around" -- if indeed you are reading this, next time you write me wanting cock, -- oh fuck, why am I bothering to say anything at all to the vain princess -- he wouldn't even notice if he gets a response from me next time or not -- he'll already be driving off in search of that alternate cock.
And so, another lonely j/o session for me. Gnite San Diego.

This is an UNJUST world, where I am a handsome hot looking guy, hung, and I'm jacking off, alone, because I'm not a selfish asshole, and to get turned on, I need connection, more than saying "Hi, man" to a stranger strummed to the tune of "Zippers Unzipping". Sometimes I wish I could be a "normal" faggot, who believes that sex is "just sex", but when I'm thinking right and not down like I am now, I am truly glad that my wiring is different. It's just crappy when it seems like everyone else is getting laid, and often, and I'm not getting any. :-((((


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